A Haircut Ordeal

Atlast what I feared happened. I got my hair cut. Now if I was back home or even any other place than this one, I wouldnt have worried so much. But I had no choice but to go to this infamous on-campus-complete-makeover-hair-stylist. Some might point out the insanely absurd choice of checking out someplace outside campus. Well if you are asking for a stereotype iitian to travel 2+kms by non-powered means (read cycling) in this *censored* weather for a haircut, then you are surely non compos mentis. That is unless he has a spons meeting or an interview or has a date. Being the eternal optimist that I am, I tried to tell myself that I was being paranoid and it might not turn out that bad. But this had little effect and so I pushed all these dark thoughts into a closet and decided to go and get over the ordeal once'n for all.

I reach the Crack of Doom and I let myself inside. There's one more bakara inwaiting ready to give his hair at the guillotine, and two more already on the hot seat. So I look around and find a Filmfare magazine with Priyanka Chopra as the cover girl. Now I told myself- "See it ain't so bad, is it, my precious?" I had not even turned a couple of pages, the minion of Thanatos (Greek god of death) calls whos next? And like a loyal servant my hand raises itself and betrays me to its diabolic master. Doomed to this fate but still trying to remain cheerful I climb the pedestal-chair and got covered with a sheet. Now that the minion has secured me to the fated seat, he goes about his chore of preparing his malevolent tools. Once he got ready, I see his reflection looking at me with a fiendish gleam in his eyes and I feel his foul breath on the back of my neck. The minion begins his work, a melancholious chop-chop, and the scissors sing a wordless dirge as I see myself being transformed- sorry disfigured to something else. At the end I'm stupefied, unable to believe that what I'm seeing is my own self. Now to avoid disgusting myself, I turn away from the mirror and get ready to pay for his 'service'. And the minion with a full wide display of his sadistic grin pockets my money. Content with his work, as I step out defaced, he moves on to his next prey.

And this is just the beginning of my tribulation. As I walk (not run, coz running gets you noticed) back to hide in my room, I find faces-friends, acquaintances and strangers all straining their memory, trying to remember if they had seen such a face in their life till date.

Sojourn

Of the innumerable times I have traveled from Chennai to Mysore and then back forth, this was by far the best. An amazing sense of rejuvenation in both body and mind. Now with a picturesque view from the window to clear the mind bringing lucidity, this was nothing but bound to happen. Slushy paddy fields teeming with light green sprouts dotted with the darker sugarcane fields and some occasional coconut farms painted a pulchritudinous picture for the eyes. An overcast sky crowded with cumulus clouds and a cool breeze that brings the monsoon to the face compels you to stick your neck out. And to top this off I have Frederick Forsyth describing the harsh Afghan climate and revealing to me the 'secrets' of the Taliban. Pity, I couldn't finish it.

Words that made their day

Yeeeeeeeeeeeewww !!

Mamakaya

Awwh

chapaT

FuNTAstic

Gul jul mul gul gul jul

Oye kya fart hai??

Mama entra

Shut your balls !!

Why did Mani attend all the hostel nites??
Coz he had no money...

Chef-d’oeuvre

What fucKKer da

NSS (expand it however you want)


P.S: The above have been quoted without permission. I'm not liable to be prosecuted as these don't seem to have copyrights.

P.P.S: These quotes are not meant to insult anyone. If anyone feels so, then its purely coincidental.

Elvish lore

Elen síla lumenn' omentielvo

A star shines on the hour of our meeting

This post was due long time back. Had told a couple of friends about this topic way back in April and they were intrigued. Later I had my end sems, then went back home and forgot all about it. But they hadn’t, and reminded me to finish up this piece I had promised.

I have always been a great fan of fantasy literature. Dragons and elves captured my attention and imagination when I was a kid, and they still do. I happened to write a monograph on the same topic for a particular English course this sem. In it, I have given a cursory insight about Elves supported by references from some novels I have come across. Also I have briefly discussed about the subtle differences in the way Elves have been portrayed by various authors. This is the link for the full account of the monograph for those interested

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dfxngw4r_8c8xk3mfz

If Shakespeare was from IIT !!

For more on IIT Lingo Click here

Yesterday I dreamt that William Shakespeare was my room neighbor. And the "butterfly effects" were nothing but funny...

Oh yes he has started writing, though mostly its nonsense. Let me tell you in advance, he aint a good writer. A few months ago he wasnt even a writer! What happened was that this new year's eve, a tarot reader on the Marina beach told him that he has enormous writing potential and it will earn him a knighthood in future. Nice cock n bull story for 20 bucks, isnt it?! But would-be-Sir William Shakespeare thought otherwise and took writing seriously. So now all he does is to lock himself up in his room with a 'DND Crashing' written in chalk on his door and scribbling away crap that comes to his half bald head. He writes in the famous and infamous IIT Lingo. Hey by the way, I managed to sneak out a small piece of his latest work!! (Dont you tell him that!) Wanna read it?! I have no idea what this play is about and I bet even he doesn't know it either!!

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Scene 3

The same.

Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE

CONRADE: Macha why so pained?

DON JOHN: Painful times da.

CONRADE: Reason?

DON JOHN: Pack da , later.

CONRADE: Tell da.

DON JOHN: Dude I’m pained coz of painful times isn’t it enough?

CONRADE: Dude you gotta be careful now with that kinda attitude. You just got outta feud with your brother. Don’t be rash.

DON JOHN: I’d rather die than be under his mercy. Wth d aim supposed to be feared like a villain but now im a joke to all of you, look right now my hands are tied , i’ll show my true self when the time is right till then don’t dissuade me from the way I am.

CONRADE: What are you gonna do?

DON JOHN: You’ll see. Who’s there?

Enter BORACHIO

Waddap Borachio?

BORACHIO: I packed grub and I came with important news. It seems there is gonna be a marriage.

DON JOHN: Sly da what’s in there for me? And which chunda is ready to get married?

BORACHIO: Claudio.

DON JOHN: Really?

BORACHIO: Yep.

DON JOHN: One big Chute, and to whom?

BORACHIO: Hero.

DON JOHN: Hot chick. How do you know this?

BORACHIO: I eavesdropped on your bro and Claudio. Apparently your bro is gonna patafy her and then give her to Claudio.

DON JOHN: Peace, now is my chance. Its gonna be so awesome to pain them. Btw macha I need your help.

CONRADE: Nps.

DON JOHN: Let go

BORACHIO: Ok.

Exit

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published with permission from Nitinkumar aka Swami aka Powerstallion

for the more popular version of this scene from the play " Much ado about nothing" Click here

P.S: The above work is totally fictitious and I'm in no way to be held responsible for anything, anytime, anywhere.