If Shakespeare was from IIT !!

For more on IIT Lingo Click here

Yesterday I dreamt that William Shakespeare was my room neighbor. And the "butterfly effects" were nothing but funny...

Oh yes he has started writing, though mostly its nonsense. Let me tell you in advance, he aint a good writer. A few months ago he wasnt even a writer! What happened was that this new year's eve, a tarot reader on the Marina beach told him that he has enormous writing potential and it will earn him a knighthood in future. Nice cock n bull story for 20 bucks, isnt it?! But would-be-Sir William Shakespeare thought otherwise and took writing seriously. So now all he does is to lock himself up in his room with a 'DND Crashing' written in chalk on his door and scribbling away crap that comes to his half bald head. He writes in the famous and infamous IIT Lingo. Hey by the way, I managed to sneak out a small piece of his latest work!! (Dont you tell him that!) Wanna read it?! I have no idea what this play is about and I bet even he doesn't know it either!!

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Scene 3

The same.

Enter DON JOHN and CONRADE

CONRADE: Macha why so pained?

DON JOHN: Painful times da.

CONRADE: Reason?

DON JOHN: Pack da , later.

CONRADE: Tell da.

DON JOHN: Dude I’m pained coz of painful times isn’t it enough?

CONRADE: Dude you gotta be careful now with that kinda attitude. You just got outta feud with your brother. Don’t be rash.

DON JOHN: I’d rather die than be under his mercy. Wth d aim supposed to be feared like a villain but now im a joke to all of you, look right now my hands are tied , i’ll show my true self when the time is right till then don’t dissuade me from the way I am.

CONRADE: What are you gonna do?

DON JOHN: You’ll see. Who’s there?

Enter BORACHIO

Waddap Borachio?

BORACHIO: I packed grub and I came with important news. It seems there is gonna be a marriage.

DON JOHN: Sly da what’s in there for me? And which chunda is ready to get married?

BORACHIO: Claudio.

DON JOHN: Really?

BORACHIO: Yep.

DON JOHN: One big Chute, and to whom?

BORACHIO: Hero.

DON JOHN: Hot chick. How do you know this?

BORACHIO: I eavesdropped on your bro and Claudio. Apparently your bro is gonna patafy her and then give her to Claudio.

DON JOHN: Peace, now is my chance. Its gonna be so awesome to pain them. Btw macha I need your help.

CONRADE: Nps.

DON JOHN: Let go

BORACHIO: Ok.

Exit

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published with permission from Nitinkumar aka Swami aka Powerstallion

for the more popular version of this scene from the play " Much ado about nothing" Click here

P.S: The above work is totally fictitious and I'm in no way to be held responsible for anything, anytime, anywhere.

Bonda, James Bonda !!

I did a mistake... I saw Casino Royale.. :( :( and I regret...
Only one word comes to a guy's mind while watching a Bond movie - 'Awesome' but this time it was 'Sucks'. May be a capital u, c, k, and s along with the S might help...Nah it wont. A bold with an underline is evidently required.

Now lets begin to dissect this movie. First of course, the center of the plot Mr Bond or in this case Mr Bonda. There's more to a Bond than mere coupling of an Armani or a Gucci with an Aston Martin. When news came a couple of years ago that Daniel Craig would be the next Bond, I thought it was some sort of crazy humorless rumor spread by some sadistic neurotic bastards of Hollywood. I believed that the day when Craig would become Bond would be the day I would be replacing Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible. Pah but that bugger Craig (No I'll call him Daniel from now on, reminds me of a dog!!) became a Bond much to my bewilderment and I'm still here, hating and loathing him instead of talking in electrically modulate voices or clinging onto a cliff with one hand. Common look at him, look at Daniel; even that teenage star of Agent Cody Banks can perform better than him. One look at Daniel and you know why we call ourselves descendants of apes. To compare Daniel with Pierce Brosnan would be more of an insult, who has such class and style. If by any chance (god forbid) Daniel and Pierce Brosnan are in the same movie then I'm sure Daniel will be Brosnan's chauffeur..no driver is a more apt word. OK agreed Daniel has a better body than Brosnan, but common this is a Bond movie not Bloodsport. All that matters is you know how to handle a PPK with a silencer wearing a suit, and a hot babe with a martini in hand.

Moving over to the plot, pathetic is the word. What the hell is happening in the movie? Where are the famed 007 car chases, advanced gadgets, gorgeous girls and flirting?? Oh well you wanna see those then watch the older Bond movies. As a matter of fact Dr No has a better car chase than this one, even thought that movie is older than Daniel himself! Wiki says he's 41, but you know these days a lot of bogus stuff gets published on Wiki.

The Bond and The Bonda

By the way you might ask then why did I even bother to download and watch this movie. Well what can I say, I m human. And any human who hasn't slept over the past 24hrs and hasn't had coffee over the past 1 hour is susceptible to reasoning impairment.